The good news is that the divorce rate in the US has dropped significantly since its peak of more than 50% in the 1980s. The bad news is that the divorce rate is still 39%.
If you’re concerned about your relationship it’s important to know the reasons why most divorces occur.
No two divorces are alike but there are some frequent causes of the break up of marriages.
So read on as we take a look at seven of the most common reasons people get divorced in America.
1. Infidelity
Probably the number one reason for the breakdown of marriages is infidelity.
There are very few relationships that can survive one partner cheating on the other. Even when couples try to work through their issues, jealousy, resentment, and other negative feelings usually end up getting in the way.
Many affairs start off as innocent friendships or work acquaintanceships but slowly develop into something more. The trouble is that once that trust has been broken it is almost impossible to get it back again.
2. Lack of Communication
Communication issues are another major cause of divorce.
If you are unable to talk through your problems in your marriage then these tend to fester and become worse. Being able to communicate clearly with your partner is an essential part of any relationship and once this breaks down it’s very hard for that relationship to continue long-term.
If you feel there is a lack of communication in your own relationship then it may be worth considering something such as couples counseling. This may be able to help you to reboot your communication with your partner and share your worries and concerns about your relationship.
3. Money Problems
They say that money can’t buy you love, but a lot of lack of money can definitely lead to divorce.
Worrying about money causes stress for both partners. If there is a difference in income or a disparity n spending habits this can only make matters worse. It leads to an imbalance of power in the relationship that can lead to tension and resentment.
If money is the cause of your divorce the last thing you need is an expensive and messy divorce. Fortunately, it’s possible to find a cheap divorce without too much difficulty.
4. Lack of Intimacy
Lack of intimacy is also a major cause of a divorce in the US.
Lack of intimacy does not just mean sexual intimacy although this is a large part of why many couples break up. Couples who have different sexual appetites or needs will find it hard to survive in the long term. Physical intimacy can also include simple acts such as hugs or holding hands.
Lack of intimacy can also relate to emotional intimacy such as not showing any acts of kindness and appreciation to your partner or just not being there for them when they need it most.
Trying to rebuild the intimacy in a relationship is down to both partners. Unless both of you want to make the effort it’s never going to work.
5. Lack of Equality
If there is a lack of balance in your relationship this can also lead to major issues.
If one partner has more responsibility than the other that imbalance can cause tension and frustration. A lack of equality may come from one partner earning more than another, or from one partner taking on more than their fair share of the responsibilities such as housework and childcare.
It may also come from unrealistic expectations from one partner towards another. It is vitally important to find a way to make your lives together a partnership where both of you feel valued and share your responsibilities.
6. Arguments
We’ve all seen them: that couple who are having an argument in the middle of the street, not caring if anyone else is listening. It’s always obvious that this isn’t the first time that it’s happened.
If your relationship is built around constant arguments then it’s not a relationship that is likely to last long term. Constant arguments lead to stress, feelings of resentment, and anger.
Unless you resolve the root causes of the problems behind your arguments you’ll find yourself having them again and again without ever coming to a resolution. If you can’t stop arguing with each other, then divorce is almost an inevitability.
7. Growing Apart
Many marriages last for decades. During that time people change dramatically. It is not always the case that both partners will grow in the same direction.
Growing apart can be one of the most difficult reasons for divorce to have to deal with. There is no obvious reason why two people who were very much in love at the beginning of their relationship now feel quite distant from each other. There is no want to blame and no obvious trigger for the breakdown of the marriage.
One upside of this reason for divorce is that it can usually be settled much more amicably than a divorce that arose from causes such as infidelity or arguments.
There Are Many Valid Reasons People Get Divorced
There are plenty of reasonable reasons people get divorced. Many people who do divorce can still remain friends.
If you’re in a relationship that isn’t working, there are plenty of steps you can take to try to resolve things. If you have exhausted all other avenues, then there’s no shame in admitting that things just aren’t working.
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